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By Jaime Jacobs ©1996

WHEN YOU GET SHLURPED BY a XXX, then IT'S CALLED:

Akita --karate chops

Alaskan Malamute --mush!

Australian Cattledog --heeling powers

Basenji --silent-but-deadly

Belgian Malinois --phlegmish

Bernese Mountain Dog --a Swiss Miss (tongue too big,goes all over face)

Bichon Frise --French kiss

Borzoi --Salut!

Chihuahua --Spanish fly-by

Chinese Crested --tuft love

Coonhound --deepthroat

Dalmatian --Czechmate

Doberman Pinscher --gezhoundheit

Finnish Spitz --LAPPing

Fox terrier --disgusting because they've just been in the litterpan;
also known as PANic attack

Great Dane --Danish Delight

GSD --shepherd's ply

Italian Greyhound --holy water

Jack Russell terrier --Eddyfication

Keeshond --Dutch treat

Kerry blue terrier --blarney

Norwegian Elkhound --ufda! (this isn't what it's called, but it's the
sound you make when it happens)

Old English Sheepdog --getting bearded

Pomeranian --puff love

Poodle --French kiss

Puli --"Pole"-vaulting

Rottweiler --tough love

Saluki --salute

Schipperke --slipperke

Scottie --I don't know what it's called but it's better than haggis

Shiba Inu --geisha girl goose

St. Bernard --roll out the barrel (and then go get me a towel!)

Welsh corgi --getting corked

Whippet --whiplash