JUDGING OBEDIENCE - A Beginners' Tail..... Well, folks, I got a chance yesterday to look at one facet of the dog world from "the other side", so to speak, yesterday when I judged the pre-novice and novice obedience classes at a local fun match.  I have done some conformation judging in the past, but this was my first experience with the obedience side of it. The whole thing was a trip from start to finish!!!  There were about a skillion Great Danes entered, and each and every one of them had what I call a "hydraulic" sit, where they just sort of ooze their butts toward the ground like they have a slow hydraulic shock absorber built in or something!! There was a little girl, maybe 8 years old, with a very overweight "All-American" (that's yer basic MUTT!)  that absolutely would not STAND for the stand for examination!  This poor child, who weighed less than her dog, had a death grip around his fat middle and was hauling up on him like he was a sack of laundry or a bag of grain, and he pretended she was not there!!!  It was a scream!!  I had to get myself under control before I could remind her that "corrections" are not allowed in the ring!!! And then there was a man with a lovely Golden Retriever bitch who did very poorly on the on-leash exercises, sniffing and lagging and just generally sloppy.  The SECOND he took that lead off, she SNAPPED to attention and worked well enough to end up with a decent qualifying score.  He came up to me afterwards and explained that his bitch's feelings are hurt when he leaves the lead on, like he doesn't TRUST her to do these things RIGHT and she has worked very hard at this, thank you, and knows EXACTLY what she is supposed to be doing!!  So she doesn't NEED that leash!!!  And if Dad is going to persist in leaving it on her, she is going to make him look BAAAAADDD!!!!! But the piece de resistance was a blue Great Dane bitch on her recall.  She had worked very nicely both on and off lead.  When her owner called her to "Come!", she took off like a freight train, straight as an arrow in flight. Unfortunately, she never put on the brakes or slowed down at all as she neared her handler, and her nose bored into the handler's crotch with the most INDESCRIBABLE sound!!!   She kind of rebounded back, shook herself, and then sat in front.  It took the handler quite a while longer to recover from the assault on his groin!!!   Technically, the deduction for that is "touching the handler", but it took me a while to be able to complete the scoring on the exercise as I was trying not to explode into hysterical laughter!!! So I have gained a new respect for obedience judges.  I have only seen ONE in my years in dogs who fell on the ground laughing and had to be hosed down to snap him out of it.  And I think that is a bloody MIRACLE!!!! Kim Lovewell Scottsdale, AZ